The destruction of fond television memories is big business in Hollywood these days. We’ve had to endure Transformers on three separate occasions, with only the stunning Megan Fox stopping many from stabbing out their own eyes with blunt instruments, and now we are bracing our senses for another GI Joe, with the hope that reboot specialist Dwayne Johnson and veteran action hero Bruce Willis can salvage this already struggling franchise. So let’s turn to the cartoons as yet untouched by the corporate staff of box office demons and ask, what childhood favourite can Michael Bay ruin next?
Click images for epic introductions and hair metal theme tunes!
Thundercats
Already a beloved cartoon from the 1980′s, Thundercats gave birth to that awesome logo now seen on t-shirts and tattooed on the arm’s of many who lived in one of the greatest decades of modern times. But who could do justice to the famous calling? “Thunder! Thunder! THUNDERCATS! HO!” And would actors dressed up like cats not just look like something you might find in Snarf’s litter tray?
Bravestarr
A galactic marshall stationed on the planet of New Texas, Bravestarr and his trusted talking horse, Thirty Thirty, are accredited with the protection of this far-flung planet and its inhabitants, the Prairie People. The image above certainly resembles another muscle-bound greeting in the 1987 movie Predator, between Arnie’s Dutch and Carl Weathers’ Dillon.
Defenders of the Earth
Adapted from several different comic strips, Defenders first aired in 1986 combining three key characters; Flash Gordon, the Phantom and Mandrake the Magician. The number of supporting characters in the show would have to be reduced if a feature was to be created. But the epic theme song is already there for the picking!
Biker Mice From Mars
An odd premise for a cartoon, BMFM was produced in 1993 and follows three motor sport loving mice who crash landed in Chicago after their own planet was destroyed by some smelly fish-type aliens known as the Plutarkians. For a movie, the production would run into similar stumbling blocks as Thundercats, do you make the characters human? Or use a lot of makeup and CGI to keep them as steroid-abusing, Harley-riding marsupials? This one could turn out like mouldy cheese.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
This cartoon has already been adapted into four feature length movies (3 live action, 1 animation) to mostly negative reception. And now, Michael Bay is in the production driving seat for the 2013 reboot Ninja Turtles. In March, Bay revealed that the turtles will be from an ‘alien race’ rather than the mutant creations that they have always historically been, to a very pessimistic response from fans of the franchise. Regardless, this is another theme tune that cannot be wasted!