In case of emergency – someone has too much coffee and collapses into what I call a ‘caffeine seizure’ or has a heart attack from working a million hours a week in the run up to Christmas – every office should have one of these on the wall. Remember – it could save lives…
Source: Buzz Feed
The much anticipated Grand Theft Auto V now has a second, more detailed look into the world of Los Santos, coming to our grubby games consoles sometime after March 2013.
See what you think…
All three playable characters are present; Trevor, Franklin and Michael, each of whom has their own set of skills and social methods of interaction with the world around them. Rockstar has said that GTA 5 boasts are bigger world than GTA: San Andreas and Red Dead Redemption COMBINED! I’m just looking forward to getting the BMX back!
Source: Digital Spy
I have a new found respect for Anne Hathaway… And oh em jee! Is that Kenan (or Kel) from Kenan & Kel?! I thought he was dead!
If anyone knows where the full sketch is, please let me know!
I’ve never been a huge rugby fan, I played it a few times at school, but it was all football when I was growing up. Like many kids today, sport is only about football and the Premier League – we are blinkered to all other forms unless guided by a parent or older sibling. As a West Ham fan I am used to disappointment and the notion that no matter how well my team does, failure is only a kick away. I love West Ham and, for all its flaws in the modern day, I love football. But several years ago, I made a conscious decision to stop moping around when West Ham (inevitably) lost on a Saturday afternoon and ruined my weekend or when there was no football on to get excited about. I started to think that I wanted to be as passionate about some other sports as I am with West Ham and football.
Now, to true rugby fans, I’m probably hated or at least disliked. I don’t follow a club (other than my sister’s partner’s team – Gravesend RFC) in the professional leagues and I barely know any of the players. But following that incredible world cup win back in 2003 (possibly the most exciting moment of sport I have ever witnessed) I follow the rugby union internationals. Whether they are the Six Nations, Autumn Series or World Cup, I try and watch every England game. After nearly 10 years – I think I almost understand the rules!
Saturday I was fortunate enough to attend Twickenham for England’s first autumn series game against Fiji with my family (including my sister’s partner and his dad – both Fijians…). It was a mismatched game and England won convincingly 54-12, but this is beside the point. The atmosphere at Twickenham was electric, from the moment we got out of the car, a short walk from the stadium, you could feel the atmosphere and excitement. The fans – plenty of young groups in fancy dress, plenty of families, plenty normal folks enjoying a few beers and a few Made in Chelsea wannabes. The introduction of BOTH teams was met with huge cheers and applause. The fantastic Fijian national anthem was sung beautifully – highlighting what a great song it is, the players, singing with unwavering pride in their nationality. The English national anthem, God Save the Queen, I have never liked – the lyrics do not represent anything to do with the people that inhabit this country and the tune itself is downbeat and dreary. Yet, when sung by 80,000 fans at Twickenham (myself included) – I found, for the first time, that it was quite emotional and I felt very proud to have that as my national anthem. It really was an incredible moment.
I am a big fan of the war dances used by the south Pacific teams before rugby matches, and the Fijian I Bole (pronounced ‘imbolay’) is one of the best. I’m probably biased because of my family connections, but the I Bole is much better than the New Zealand Haka, and much more aggressive. My only criticism is that in the stadium, you can’t hear it – it would have been fantastic to have directional microphones at pitch side locations to pick up the chants and war cry’s, played over the PA – similar to what is used in the NFL to pick up the sound of pads and helmets clashing during tackles.
The fans reacted fantastically to some big tackles and celebrated every try and penalty with rapturous applause and dancing. Overall, it was a great experience and I will certainly look to going to another game at Twickenham sooner rather than later.
This is an experience that you wouldn’t get at Wembley stadium watching England play football. I have been several times to World Cup and European Cup qualifiers and been pretty bored and uninspired with the fans and general atmosphere. I am sure that during a major tournament, the atmosphere is intense and on par with Twickenham. But when you compare the importance of qualifying in football (being very important) and the autumn series in rugby (not very important) – the atmosphere should reflect that surely? Football has a hell of a lot to learn and I do hope someone or some organisation can drag it off its pathetic, diving knees and into the 21st century.
However, following that great Saturday, I stayed in Sunday and managed to watch 2 fantastic games. West Ham grinded out a really difficult win against Newcastle at St James Park – the game was by no means a spectacle and at times the football was gritty and ugly – but it proved to be a fantastic 3 points for the Hammers and I was knotted with tension after the game.
Following that I sat down to watch what I knew could be a very tight game in the NFL between the New Orleans Saints (my team!) and division rivals (and only unbeaten team this season) – the Atlanta Falcons. The game was pretty mad and hard-hitting. It was a spectacle of two great offenses going up against two not so great defences. The game went down to the wire and the Saints (I fully expected us to lose) made an incredible goal line stand with only 2mins left on the clock.
Basically, I am in love with more sports now than I can spin a scarf at! And it’s a great feeling to have such passion for multiple teams in several sports. When funding is better I will certainly look to go to New Orleans and see a game and make more visits to Twickenham and Upton Park.
Last Sunday’s Homeland, Q&A, was a shocker to say the least! But I can’t help but think this is a very introverted representation of the CIA, an organisation that the US is constantly hinting at being everywhere and watching everyone.
Firstly, the episode was very enjoyable, it gave Damian Lewis a chance to stretch his acting legs more so than he has done since the first season, and parts of the Brody/Carrie scenes were very touching as well as tense. But this story is the biggest threat to America surely? A US congressman, running for Vice President is found to be a traitor and in collusion with America’s most feared enemy, and yet, no procedure seemed to be followed. Carrie, who has proven that she is a bit nuts and has a complete disregard for her superiors, despite being given chance after chance, is allowed back into the CIA and allowed (backed, once again, by Saul, who really should’ve been fired by the amount of opportunities he has given Carrie, only to see her jeopardise entire operations and lives) to be involved in one of the most important intelligence investigations, possibly in American history? Perhaps they should remove the ‘I’ from the CIA, because there quite obviously isn’t much intelligence there!
Stabby stabby… Brody get’s more than he bargained for
I’m not even going to talk about the completely random and unrelated plotline involving Dana and her dumbass new boyfriend.
Secondly, (SPOILER ALERT) it seems highly unrealistic that anyone involved in that ultimately bollocks’d up operation to surveil Brody, has the authority to pardon a terrorist collaborator in return for him ‘helping them out’. Now again, going on the track record of Estes, Saul and Carrie, they do not seem to have the best judgement, yet they are ‘trusting’ Brody to keep his word after he has lied repeatedly to EVERYONE for what we can assume is around about a year! Seriously?
Claire Danes cracks out the weekly ‘trout face crying thing’
Apart from the aforementioned idiocy of Homeland’s CIA staff and the random Dana storyline, I thought the episode was fantastic and enjoyable, and I look forward to next week’s episode. For a more in-depth and educated look at this particular episode, check out this great article by Emma Dibdin on Digital Spy.
My last week and a half has been pretty stressful, not in a ‘I must get these generic business reports in on time so we can close the multi-million pound generic business deal’ kind of way. More in the sense that I have not got any more work placements lined up and I’m feeling the pressure of wanting and needing a job!
Here’s the amount of jobs I’ve actually applied for, it doesn’t look like much, but when you consider each one of those bad boys requires its own cover letter written from scratch every time (I’m like Relentless – No Half Measures bruv), sometimes a CV adjustment, sometimes additional tasks and sometimes a full on massive application form, it takes a while!
This nice little picture taken with my handy Instagram app, also doesn’t include the several temp agencies I’ve gone and registered with in my local area…
I’m doing my best to be patient, because you just don’t know how long these companies will advertise their positions for, when they are likely to start the interviewing process or even if they decide not to go ahead with hiring one of the applicants.
So, as well as all this, I decided to doodle during a ‘break’ from my stressful unemployed vocation…
I also began structuring the main character of the book that I’m writing, I imagine I will write a chapter before giving up and throwing pens in angst at my current situation (this happened last night).
I guess this post is me ranting about how annoying it is to have relevant experience, transferable skills, a professional and hard working attitude, [add in a few more CV terms] and not even managing to get an interview, let alone a job! Chuck in the fact that I went to university to try and get a half decent job and came out with thousands worth of debt and a few blank spots in my memory, like so many.
I can be thankful that I’m not in the current crop of youngsters who have about 0.00001% chance of landing a decent job after university and will have way more debt, accruing much more interest.
Well I suppose I could always be one of those fella’s that starts each day at the job centre and works his way down to Spoons, blind drunk by 4pm. It ain’t all bad!
**MAJOR SPOILER WARNING**
If you have not seen Looper and intend to, I suggest leaving right now… This is a timeline of the Looper events that will ruin the movie for you!
If you have seen it, and loved it as much as I did… Please check out my Looper timeline!
I certainly don’t think that remaking foreign films for a ‘Hollywood audience’ is a great thing. It’s kind of like someone buying you a Christmas present and you taking it back to the shop for something better, just rude! You should be happy with the crap jumper and live with it!
For example, remaking The Raid is ludicrous! That is a fantastic foreign film and what makes it great is the fighting style (Pencak Silat) and filming style of Iko Uwais and Gareth Evans respectively. The plot is, as Monty Python would say, ‘wafer thin’, but in this movie, it doesn’t matter! It’s the aesthetic elements that make for a quality piece of cinema. So how is Hollywood going to remake this? Well, they’ve just released Dredd 3D, which has the same ‘story’ (if you can call fighting your way to the top of a building, a story) only in a different setting, with different pieces on the board. I do not believe this to be a smart move, but, if selling the rights to a big budget studio gets more money for Evans to make movies, and then influx of people watching the original in the build-up/aftermath of the Hollywood version, then so be it, everyone’s a winner!
However, there is an exception (and there is probably more that I am ignorantly unaware of) in the form of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. A fantastic story and great book which deservedly (unlike recent literary phenomena) gained worldwide plaudits. The original Swedish film, on the other hand, was a poor representation of the intricacies of Larsson’s heavily influenced novel. It was graphic in the way that Swedish films are, but it felt flat in terms of depth and character, with Michael Nyqvist under-selling the intelligence and vulnerability of Blomkvist’s character. The performance of Noomi Rapace as the titular character, for me, is one of very few highlights in the film. It’s great now that Rapace is onto bigger things and has been involved in some good movies.
Moving back to the remake, it was going to be very difficult for Rooney Mara to follow the original performance, but she absolutely nails it. You instantly forget about the girl with the social networking issues and are faced with this troubled, violent yet extremely vulnerable character. Daniel Craig basically plays himself rather than stretching to the character too much, but he does bring two elements to the film. The first being that awesome thing he does with his glasses where they hang down of his face from one ear (I have been replicating this ever since, it makes me look smart….), the second being the vulnerability and very humane reactions he displays to the acts of violence that occur. Things as simple as yelling ‘FUCK!’ when he is confronted with a rather messed up cat on his doorstep and retching slightly as Lisbeth photographs it.
David Fincher and cinematographer Jeff Cronenweth also do their jobs incredibly well, heading to Sweden for filming and really create the notion of isolation with this very desolate landscape covered in snow. I would be quite disappointed if Fincher was not on board for (at least) the first sequel (which I believe is going ahead with Craig and Mara??? Not sure).
I guess I’m basically saying, that the original is not always better (except in the case of Total Recall (and many others!)) and the remake should not be panned before viewing (which I am guilty of many times, but I see the error of my ways!)
Anyway, rant over
So yet another video game will be getting the movie treatment. With any luck, Columbia Pictures and Avi Arad won’t royally cock up a good gaming franchise, although there are very few game-to-movie adaptions that have worked well, so I won’t be holding my breath for a decent movie. But hey-ho, it gives us the chance to look at the timeline of Metal Gear series protagonist, Solid Snake, in the fictional chronology of the games.
Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater
Released 2004 // Set during the Cold War in 1964
Snake looking pretty old during his (apparently) earliest mission. His age is a mystery.
Metal Gear Solid: Portable ops
Released 2006 // Set in 1970
Snake, still with eye-patch from an injury suffered eating snakes
Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker
Released 2010 // Set in 1974
The peace walker, totally ready for peaceful times with an M16 and 2 finger gloves.
Metal Gear
Released 1987 // Set in 1995
Not a whole lot of originality from Snake’s first outing. Note the unshamed rip off of Kyle Reese from The Terminator
Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake
Released 1990 // Set in 1999
Snake looking kinda fat and old, but no longer like Kyle Reese. It’s amazing what 4 years can do to you
Metal Gear Solid
Released 1998 // Set in 2005
Snake looking all arty in one of the greatest games ever. Never has hiding in a cardboard box been so much fun
Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty
Released 2001 // Set in 2007 & 2009
Solid only features in the prologue of MGS2, which sucks because Raiden is a bit girly
Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots
Released 2008 // Set in 2014
Solid ‘I’m old but still gonna kick yo’ass’ Snake makes his final outing in Guns of the Patriots.
CIA suit, Mr Church (Willis) reassembles the Expendables for, what they think, should be an easy job. But when one of the team is killed by mercenary Jean Vilain (Van Damme), leader Barney Ross (Stallone) and co must head deep into enemy territory to finish the mission and avenge their fallen comrade.
Sylvester Stallone is the architect of this franchise. Perhaps he got the idea for an ultimate 80’s action hero team-up when he caught wind of Marvel’s plans for The Avengers. Regardless, with Sly in front and behind the camera for his first ensemble outing The Expendables, he produced a less than impressive shoot’em up, with minimal highlights. The much anticipated cameos of Willis and Schwarzenegger left a lot to be desired, along with any kind of solid plot.
That’s not to say that Con Air’s Simon West, taking over directorial duties for The Expendables 2, has produced much in the way of story and character depth, but there are far more highs than lows in this explosive sequel. The weight of the movie is carried on the hulking (if a little wrinkly) shoulders of its cast and the one-liners they spit out in between shooting henchman, blowing up henchman, stabbing henchman and generally doing horrible things to nameless goons, or ‘henchman’ if you will.
West’s lack of focus on characterisation could be forgiven, as the names and backstories are so irrelevant that they might as well have named the protagonists after their off-screen personalities. The only Expendable West tells us anything about is the young Hemsworth brother, who tells a typically generic tale of woe as a young, battle-worn soldier returning from Afghanistan.
Statham returns, wielding the most onscreen chemistry with Sly, while the rest of the non-action gags feel flat and forced. Crews could arguably be given more dialogue as the most naturally funny Expendable, but without a glistening action career, he is likely to be destined for a supporting role in the franchise.
The film really takes off with the introduction of Chuck Norris. The man can’t act, but there is something so incredibly charming about his awkwardness amongst the egos, that he nearly steals the show. Willis and Arnie get properly stuck in this time around, creating some fantastic scenes that will delight action fans over the age of 30 with some knee-slapping good gags. Disappointingly though, Arnie’s script is limited to variations of his past-era quotes: ‘I’m back’, ‘I’ll be back’, etc. and nothing more, while Willis is effortlessly cool.
The throbbing biceps and gruff voices are as strong as they ever were. A step forward from its predecessor, and a huge step back to the action heyday of the 80’s.
